5 Cases where Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Matters Most
Generally in many organizations Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) or Cultural Intelligence (CQ) is spoken about in the context of having soft skills. It is deemed as having the ability to build trust, establish relationships and maintain them. More formally, being able to communicate effectively is often measured in how well one does verbally or in written form. Communication is an aspect of Emotional Intelligence though it requires much more than these measures to sustain strong relationships.
Emotional Intelligence is a set of skills and competencies that predict positive outcomes in social interactions. The focus is on both the management of your own social behavior and that of others around you. Many of the tests that measure Emotional Intelligence are based on the model of John Mayer and Peter Salovey. Mayer and Salovey have defined emotional intelligence as an ability to recognize the meanings of emotion and their relationships, and to reason and problem-solve on the basis of them. The models for Emotional Intelligence have evolved to include various flavors and have started to elicit criticism on the validity of some tests. Companies such as TalentSmart, who provide testing and consulting services on Emotional Intelligence, believe that these skills are linked to performance and can be developed. Regardless of the current state of affairs, I believe these skills are developed very early on in life and are foundational values that parents should teach their children. They are the basic principles of the Bible and how to live a God fearing life.
With this in mind, many leaders fail miserably at having high emotional intelligence. What is worse, it is tolerated by subordinates and peers as a personality trait that just isn't inherent in them. Emotional Intelligence is not just a requirement for effective leadership in companies, but the foundation for success in relationships in your personal life and in the communities in which we live. Here are the five cases when Emotional Intelligence resonate most for me.
- Actively listening to someone that needs you
As a leader in the workplace, at home or in your community, you may be frequently sought after for advice. Setting the stage to be open minded and curious on each occasion with the individual reaching out to you is important. Even if it's the 50th time that this person has reached out to you, actively listening and being emotionally open-minded should be your top priority. Listen, be thoughtful and respond objectively. If you are tired or may lack the openness that is needed from you at the time, be honest and ask to talk at a later time. You can never take that moment back when you were needed and passively listening without the intent to be there now. - Managing through significant change
Change is an imperative in life. Change in business is paramount to remain competitive in the marketplace. As leaders we must manage through not only incremental change, but in some cases transformational change. During these times it is key to stay in touch emotionally with your team. Have you been a victim of expecting that 1-2 meetings to discuss change with your team will be enough to effectively sustain buy-in? Have you experienced the lack of operational success from a project because your team was not brought along for the ride? To effectively manage change you must manage the emotional state of the people that are involved. Take your team along for the journey. - During major life events
We all have major life events that rock our foundation and can rattle even the most strong willed individuals. Take note of your own emotional state and that of others around you during these times. Be more aware of your own actions. Look at how your actions are being casted toward others and what emotional states that follow. We can experience many joys and pains during our major life events. Maintain a heightened sense of awareness of your emotions to regulate yourself and others in your shadow. - Establishing or rebuilding trust
Gaining, maintaining and rebuilding trust can be tough work. There are mountains of books on the topic. The key takeaways for me as it relates to Emotional Intelligence is maintaining relationships while being consistent in your approach to decision making. At times being a rational decision maker can seem at odds with managing relationships. Having a high Emotional Intelligence doesn't mean that you have to be soft or weak minded. In my opinion it is the exact opposite. You must be able to regulate your own emotions and that of others to maintain balance. Achieving that balance over time is key to the equation of having a high trust relationship. - Delivering a tough message
As leaders delivering tough messages are part of the job. It is the responsibility of the leader to rationalize what must be done and to delivery the message. In some cases that message may have been cascaded down and you may not entirely align. Whatever the situation, you must deliver the message with authenticity and connect emotionally with your team. If your goal is to maintain a relationship with those that are impacted by the message be careful on the approach and style of delivery. Be cognizant of the environment in which the message was delivered. Know that it may take time for your team to openly provide feedback and it could come at various times. As leaders we must move the team forward, but do so with tact. This again is one of those times when you will never get an opportunity to deliver that same message again. Do it right the first time, in an emotionally intelligent state.
I've been fortunate to have taken an Emotional Intelligence test as well as the cross-cultural test which measures your Cultural Intelligence Quotient. On both tests I found my results to be interesting and aligned with how I feel about the topics.
You can find more detail on my test results by linking to the EIQ16 Report and Cultural Fair IQ.
Are you an Emotional Intelligent leader? Do you believe that these skills are requirements for leaders to be effective? How does Emotional Intelligence or Cultural Intelligence show up in your life?